14 questions you must ask before getting pregnant
In this article we are discuss 14 questions you must ask before getting pregnant. let’s read
1. What kind of mother/father would I be?
Mother: Gentle and virtuous? Taking care of the family? Or working hard outside to earn money to support the family?
Dad: Do I have to work outside to earn money to support the family? Or can I also be a stay-at-home dad?
2. How much time and space do I have for myself?
Be sure to schedule some alone time for yourself, even if it’s only ten minutes a day, it can be very helpful for the physical and mental health of new parents.
3. Thoughts on work after having children
Raising children will inevitably take up our time and energy, and have a certain impact on our work. We need to consider whether our work achievement goals need to be changed, such as whether we can extend the time to achieve the goals or lower our requirements for ourselves.
4. Expectations of a partner
Originally, we only needed to feel our partner’s love through companionship, but for pregnant women, the main role of their partner’s companionship becomes to accept their vulnerable emotions and respond to them.
Therefore, we need to communicate more about our expectations of each other rather than blaming each other’s shortcomings.
5. Will children affect our relationship?
Although children will be your new emotional bond, from the perspective of your intimate relationship, children will reduce the time you two spend together, which may cause emotional alienation and reduce the quality of your intimate relationship. We need to pay more attention to our relationship.
6. How to have sex after pregnancy?
It is normal for both partners’ sexual interests to change during pregnancy. Either the woman or the man may experience an increase or decrease in sexual desire. Open communication is key when it comes to these issues.
We all desire sex with our partners not just for sexual fulfillment, but also to fulfill our need for closeness and intimacy, so if one partner is reluctant to have sex as often as possible during pregnancy, find other ways (such as touching) to fulfill your need for closeness and intimacy.
7. How should we divide the tasks of supporting the household and raising children among ourselves?
Many family conflicts really come from the unequal distribution of housework. If only one party takes on the responsibility, or takes on too much, it is bound to breed strong dissatisfaction. And the party who avoids housework cannot avoid the emotional attack of the partner.
After having children, the housework we need to deal with increases exponentially. A reasonable and fair distribution of housework can greatly reduce family conflicts. You can distribute it by type of task or by time. It is also a good idea to use external help (such as a dishwasher or a sweeper) to reduce the common burden.
8. What difficulties might our lives encounter after having children?
For ordinary families, the most obvious pressure is the economic pressure. Anticipate the difficulties you may face in advance and discuss solutions together. You will feel more that you are not alone and that there are people around you who are sharing the burden with you.
9. Can you allow me to continue to be myself while being a father/mother?
If our partner cannot see our existence as our own entity and cannot recognize our value beyond our identity as parents, it will greatly affect our sense of happiness.
10. Do I like children very much?
If you don’t like children that much, then you need to consider whether your partner can provide more of the companionship and emotional support your children need.
11. What changes will childbirth bring to the pregnant woman’s body?
For women, knowing the changes that will happen to their bodies can reduce their fear and powerlessness. For men, knowing this can also help them empathize with their wives and strengthen their emotional connection.
12. What do you need to know about having children?
Raising a child does require a lot of knowledge, but thinking about this issue is not just to be prepared. The more important purpose is that through inventory, you will find that you do not need to master all the content at once, you can do it step by step.
For example, now you only need to understand the preparation stage for pregnancy, then learn about the precautions during pregnancy after you are pregnant, and finally the knowledge about raising a baby.
13. Will I be a qualified parent in the eyes of my children?
The key ability that a parent needs to have is actually the ability to tolerate children’s emotions, that is, whether you can accept and transform children’s emotions.
However, being a mother is an experience full of trial and error, and we need to respect the fact that even in the best of circumstances, the process of being a mother is destined to be imperfect, and the same is true for being a father.
14. Do I need the help of my parents? What if the other party’s parents want to get involved?
Do we need help from our parents? Are they able to help us? If so, is it financial, spiritual or practical help that we need?
If the other parent wants to be involved in parenting, what is the approach we are comfortable with?
When discussing these issues, avoid bringing your partner into your family of origin. Try not to let your partner discuss the issue directly with your parents. You should first reach an agreement with your partner, and then each of you should talk to your family of origin. This will make things simpler .
